What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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