I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
