I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
