I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
