No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
