I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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