im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
