dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
