I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize