words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize