my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
