Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
