I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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