i jhust puked up my retainher.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
