Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
