Porn is love you can see.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
