Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
