why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize