oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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