community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
