Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
