I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish i was in the wii world.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
