she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
