Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
