I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
