We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
