doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I did not marry a roomba.
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