We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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