He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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