sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
