I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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