I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
