Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Randomize
