After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
