We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
