I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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