Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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