Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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