3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
