my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
