32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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