____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
