What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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