We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
