what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize