Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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