doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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