WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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