Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
