Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
