I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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