so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
