Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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