I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
