Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
