I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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