your thong is hanging out like whoa
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
