we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
