suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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