I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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